I did half a lap of the lazy river wearing – gasp, scream! – my bikini. Why, how, what you ask? I took a tip from my friend Veronica, taking advantage of my blue-green friend, the tube. Did I feel bad, using it to cover up my scratched up, stretch-marked belly? No. Did I hold him tight around myself, knocking people out of my way so tht my inflatable mid-riff cover up didn’t expose anything? Yes. Will I do it again? With the temp at 104, no doubt about it.

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